Bernard Hamer

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♥«´¨`•°Bernard ´¨`»♥
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ღ Good morning Bernie ღ
. ♥ *Sprinkling* .
ღ. . * ♥ . ღ * . * ♥.
♥. *Your * Page ღ*
ღ . . * ♥ . * . * ღ
.* ღ With Loads .* ♥
. * ♥ * * ღ . * ♥ *
ღ * . of Love ♥ . *


My Angel
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This is our big brother, he will always be remembered as being just "bernie" to myself and my
younger brother David.

Bernard Hamer 8th December 1962 - 28th April 2007 00.50am

Died age 44 years young.

My big brother bernard has been taken far too soon without a goodbye. And its on this website I
share my feeling emotionals and tributes to my brother without prejudice to anybody and its not my
intention to hurt or upset anybodt, but feelings are feelings and we all hurt because of Bernie's
death.

I have used some of your photos on this website to show everybody photos of Mike Jenny Jack Ethan
Megan Joshua and Ben, I have no photos of Jessica or Daniel I am sorry.

Bernards inquest was held on 25th October and the verdict was "Misadventure".
Cause of death *Poisoning by alcohol and Citalopram*

Bernie was a binge drinker and could go on real benders but he never took pills when he was drinking
daily which he drank alot of cider towards the end but his liver was not damaged in anyway, all his
organs were ok.

Your funeral was Monday 14th May at 2pm at Agecroft in the place where all our family have rested.
I think your at peace, but I will never know. you will be our dad Bernard Martin who sadly died by
taking his own life. Bernard has gone to spend the rest of eternity with our dad Bernard Martin.

I wished I had one chance to share my feelings with you face to face rather than like this, I came
to see you to say goodbye, I still cannot accept your gone. I cannot think of you without feeling
sad.

Life is not fair sometimes and you should not be where you are, you should be on the beach with the
kids having donkey rides, laughing and sharing the good times, or going to the bookies chewing pens,
one of your favourite annoying pastimes!!

Our dad Bernard Martin died by his own hand of suicide on January 15th 1973, He was 30years old
Bernie was 10years old when dad hung himself by a tree in a local school ground in Swinton.

Dads family never told my us about our dads death. We sat and read in the journal whilst living in
Clifton Drive in Swinton. Bernie always asked our mum why did ouir dad hanged himself. We were
aware of some letters that dad wrote before he died, but we never got to see them. Nobody ever gave
bernie or I the answers he so desparately needed to know. The fact was I didnt blame our mum for our
dads death I was younger than Bernie, but he always blamed our mum for dads death and that was sad
that she had to deal with that because it wasnt really fair.

Bernie over the years never came to terms with dads death, and I remember one of his own suicide
attempts he believed that he had seen our dad in the cremetery in walkden shouting him. Bernie
arrived home that night to mum and I, we ended up at the hospital. Bernie suffeered depression on
and off during his life and I believe dads death didnt help him he lived with not knowing for all
his life.

Bernards paranoia was his own worse enemy, and when he was down and depressed it was awful, it was
heartbreaking to see him sometimes. The times mum and I have ended up on hospital after he has tried
and failed to commit suicide is scary. Pressure was bad when we young, Bernie's seeked attention in
the wrong way. I remember him being in hospital on Christmas Day along time ago and not wanting to
see mum or I, how heartbreaking was that he must have been so drugged up he didnt know what was
going on.

I really wish bernie had contacted one of us before he died I cannot accept he mixed the substances
together, I had since found out he was in money debt and did this influence him?? that we will never
no. Something must have trigged this off and I believe we will never know the truth, I suppose I
accept I only know what I am told but it is a question that should have been anwered months ago.

Its sad that when you lose somebody in death the grief is hard to deal with, and 20 years ago when
Bernie was attempting suicide I was dealng with it in a better way. Now is not so easy as I do not
know the real reasons behind Bernie death and we know we will never find out and even if we did
would we believe it??

I still today coming up April 2008 one year after his death, do not accept Bernie death, I keep alot
of my feelings to myself and dont open up to many people, I wish I could but I cant its hurts too
much. I just wish he had made one phone call even if it had been to mum and he had not seen her for
over 3 years before he died. In that period of time Bernie had changed alot he drank and he gambled
as we know thats what bernie did before. But something different he had changed into somebody we
really didnt know and we had not been given the chance to know.

I ask myself would Bernie have really wanted to die?? did he leave a note?? we dont know and he knew
the tragic circunstances of our dad death that the "not knowing" was hardest thing to deal with,
questions run a mock in your head, WHY did he do this, what pushed him to? I believe Bernie did
take all those tablets and the drink and I believe in my own mind that he wanted peace... But why
leave a 16 week old baby????

I didnt attend Bernie inquests for reasons I do not wish to go into, at 42 years old I had been
informed third hand information which I believe was used a tool to cause distress and hurt. It was
Bernie's inquest and it was turned into a circus and a way to hurt people. Something that happened
42 yrs ago had nothing to do with this. Its sad at what some people will go to at length to cause
upset.

I got married 9th June 2007 I know you where there with my dad and James. I love you all very much,
Dave was there we shed a tear as you well know because somewhere in that room you were watching.. we
all felt sad dancing to your song and crying holding each other, looking at our photos of you and me
as kids next to our cake. You played a part in the service, Gary and Becky did you proud they shared
your memoires with over 60 guests, which left tears of you and James in everybodies eyes.

Rest in peace, my questions are stil not answered and I love you all the same, memories will stay
with me until one day we will meet again.

Bernard you are loved so much and this site is my tribute to your self with us and I share my love
and respect for you for all eternity.

On 28th April 2007, Bernie was in a sad sad place and what was going through his mind is scary and I
wish he had asked somebody for help, nothing is so bad that it cannot be resolved.

Only Bernie now knows the truth I sincerely hope my big brother is at peace, no more depression no
money tormention of his soul wanting answering to questions. His paranoia of life ended that sad
night and life as we know it will never be the same again.

Bernard Hamer - 8th December 1962 - 28th April 2007
Bernard Martin - 4th march 1943 - 15th January 1973

I hope you both are at peace you have both waited a lifetime for your souls to meet again. I cannot
change anything that has happened i wish you hadnt left us all.

I miss my brother and wish we all knew the truth and just one question for me would be WHY.


Pauline x

Gary & Becky xx

Dave x

xxxxxxxxxx


´*•.¸(*•.¸♥ ¸.•*´)¸.•*´
♥«´¨`•°Bernard¨`»♥
¸.•*(¸.•*´♥ `*•.¸)`*•.¸